My shameful dilemma
Along a reasonably well-heeled street in the Camden area of north London, my attention is first drawn to an argument between a young man and a young woman on my left. And then, 50 yards later, I suddenly see a man in his 20s bashing a much younger woman’s face into the bonnet of a car.
I hear her screams and the man’s shouts, and by the time my bicycle is abreast of them, she is upright, in tears, her face badly marked.
I instinctively intervene and ask if she needs help. The man is in a hyper-paranoid, violent state, and turns fast and menacingly on me, shouting and cursing, and I take to my bike in flight.
I pause further down the road and look back, and there seem to be more people about. I cycle back towards the group, seriously concerned for the young woman’s welfare. And it seems to me the man is standing close to a motor cycle.
The road is straight and somehow enclosed, with few escape points, and I conclude very quickly that if he were to give chase, he’d get me. I retreat, and I think about calling the police. But for some inexplicable reason, I didn’t.
Even now, I don’t really know why not. Somehow I feel that they wouldn’t have taken me seriously and that by the time it was all explained, the incident would have passed and there would only be my account of it.
I don’t often see that sort of thing, and it’s left me with a lot of misgivings.
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There are 29 comments on this post
Always call the police ……Better late than never…
It’s a difficult situation, but I think it’s best to call the police. I intervened once to stop car thieves and received a bad beating for my troubles
Don’t dwell on it too much Jon. There is no shame in what you did. You showed concern for the young woman but what else could you do, the man may have had a knife or gun you just dont know.
You should give the details to the police incase they are investigating it, you may need to be a witness and identify the thug if they catch him.
Jon, I wouldn’t dwell on it too much either. But, I would also be inclined to call the police as suggested by NewModernMan in case they are investigating.
I share your concern about phoning the Police, response times and other issues. Its a very sad world we live in now when we are ‘taught’ to be mindful of our own safety over concern for others. Maybe you ‘sensed’ things were not how they appeared to be? At least you stopped and tried to help; so many other people would have passed straight by.
I “stepped in” to a confrontation infront of Euston Station several years ago at a cash machine – two guys had a third in an arm lock at the machine. They shouted that they were the police – the man shouting they were not.
I stepped in and was confronted with a large knife pointed at my stomach. They were robbing him in broad daylight. I was lucky Jon – you have no idea what these criminals will pull. Call the police next time – even if the event is over – you have no idea if this woman later collapses. Your testomonial could make the difference.
If it happened to a loved one – wouldn’t you be happy if the police had the name of a witness needed later on?
Don’t feel bad. People aren’t prepared in any way for such situations and should, in most cases, stay out of it themselves. The police are the solution and should always be called, ideally immediately or later. You don’t know whether this low life is being watched already.
The police have a relatively poor standing in the community and this comes out in your blog, which is interesting. In my experience, most police personnel are excellent. Indeed, some of the bravest people I ever worked with were policemen. There are some bad eggs and they should be rooted out, but don’t underestimate the majority. Help them.
Some years ago whilst on the way to dinner with my fiance, I got punched – without provocation – by a drunk football fan I was unfortunate enough to pass in the street. Whilst nursing myself I saw him have a go at other people up the street. I called the police. Nobody else though was interested in hanging around.
They turned up, arrested him, and I resolved to “do my bit” and took it to court. The police were helpful, and understanding. The amount of paperwork we/they had to do was astounding. But I’m still surprised and disappointed nobody else seemed interested in doing anything about it. Whilst it was a ruined evening out, I’d do the same again without a doubt.
To intervene or not to intervene? How many times have you reported on, or heard a report of a have-a-go-hero being injured or even losing their life because they did intervene. The fact that you did enter this situation may have helped the young women in some way.
Hindsight is a wonderful thing and I believe, that when we look back upon situations such as these, that we forget just how scared we were at that point. We want to do more than just call the police. Is it that we feel that the police will not actually solve this crime or because we are supposed to be brave and fearless and save young women in distress? And to retreat is no shame, lets face it, if this guy has the mindset to smash a young women’s face onto a car bonnet what would have been the treatment that he could have inflicted you?
Now, the best thing to do would be to call the police as the incident may have been report and is being investigated.
What an awful experience. The most troubling aspect of the incident is that it was happening in broad daylight and he obviously thought such violence was acceptable.
Jon, I spoke to my brother today about intervening in situations just like you’ve come across. To be quite frank with ya, unless you are in riot gear or backed up by a few other people, then you should walk away. A dead hero aint no good.
I’ve seen at first hand how women can find the bad boy very very appealing and, actually measure his worth by how much he fights! My own daughter got smacked around by her boyfriend at 19 in the flat they shared. I took her to the Police who said she was old enough to press charges. You guessed it, she didn’t! Why? That same old saying…’but I love him’!
Clear your mind Jon and free of any self guilt because I’m sure there’ll be another incident, prob. drugs related!
Don’t feel guilty. You could have been seriously injured or even killed – we know that happens to people who “have a go”. However, I think it’s always important to call the police if in any doubt.
. You should have phoned, but seeing a gathering of people you probably thought that being a high profile figure it wasn’t in your best interests to do so. When you saw other people around it set you free to let somebody else take that particular responsibility.Your safety was first and should be first. Without your observation of the situation there would not even be a moral issue to torture yourself with. Perhaps a 999 might be in order if the issue arises again, however no two issues are usually exactly replicated.
I agree with all the above Jon. He was probably high on drugs and you can’t reason with those people. Don’t beat yourself up.
Dilemma…Yes
Shameful dilemma…No
A citizen, whether cyclist, pedestrian or driver is fortunate if he or she has not been presented with such a dilemma.
Whether,
‘collective commuters’ on public transport in densely populated cities
or as a ‘lone pedestrian’ late at night in an isolated location without the benefit of back up from fellow travellers..
So many of us have ben confronted with just such a dilemma.
My approach has been to factor into my mindset a response that I will follow.
My decision has therefore been taken and allows me to react quickly…
I stay back, call the police by mobile phone and try to get any images either by a digital camera or mobile.
Even if the Police are not able to attend directly….they will value the evidence that has been captured.
That’s my ‘ urban realist’ approach.
Perhaps Baldrick was not so wrong…..
‘have a cunning plan’.
I like to think I would intervene if I were in the same situation but one can always be far more noble (and brave) in the abstract than the reality, and of course hindsight is a wonderful thing. As time lessens the undoubtable fear you felt at the time, it is probably natural to question your actions but you went with your gut instinct, you need to trust that as the right course of action.
Don’t worry – it’s not a shame or morality thing; these situations happen so fast you don’t have time to process them and act coherently. A baby floating downstream, that’s an easy call; you’d jump in. But relationships? He could even have been disarming her after a bank robbery! Not likely, but these are the scenarios that rush though your mind. Instinct&Information&Accurate Interpretation – sometimes, there just isn’t the time.
This is the stuff that haunts one. I used to always get involved ’till I got a head kicking for my trouble. One has to be careful.
Jon
I twice succesfully intervened in altercations in London.
Late at night three men pounding the head of a fourth man on the concrete approach to Fulham tube station .
A young man in punk gear attacking a bowler-hatted city gent on a crowded Euston tube platform.
But that was in the 60s. Maybe things are very different now – but I’d like to think I would still intervene
Dont worry Jon its not in our programming to react to these situations if we have not come across them before, its “cannot find file” in our minds.
I would have done exactly the same thing. After all, you’re only human, Jon. (Even if I have my doubts sometimes)
There is only so much you should get involved with unless you are willing to get killed there and then. It is definitely not worth it – who would thank you for it when you’re dead?
Take care on that bike ride!
I think you experienced on a slightly more serious scale what many people experience regularly on a minor scale . In your shoes I imagine I would have done something very similar and felt exactly the same afterwards. I completely appreciate your dilema.
Yes, Jonno, came across this blog which brought to mind a very similar incident personally witnessed over year ago.Now living in supposedly civil Malmö,Sweden, one late evening, I came across a burly ‘young’ man slamming a weepy young woman into a nearby wall and yelling´, and that ‘chivalrous’ part of me stepped up and asked him what he thought he was doing..his unsavoury heavy (eastern european?) accented and threatening reply made me think twice about what next to do…it was late, dark and daunting. my heart went out to the woman, not knowing their circumstances still didnt mean that a woman should suffer abuse like that. The ‘dilemma’ remained, having not thought about calling the police instead; as a newcomer to Sweden (from Blighty, mind). Call the fuzz, for the record..YES
You should still report it…
As you would have reported some gruesome news stories where Good Samaritans come off worst because the perpetrators are carrying guns/knives/both or have an army of mates around the corner, I don’t blame you for thinking that way Jon.
Police advice on encountering such a situation is always to dial 999. I’m sure you’ve probably reported that in the past.
But as a respected broadcaster who is trained to observe/report situations accurately, you would make a very good witness.
Observing doesn’t necessarily help the immediate situation of course, but sometimes it is the best option. As you said, there were plenty of other people getting involved physically.
Isn’t “observing” essentially what happens when TV crews are in war zones. Wasn’t there a report a few months ago, on C4 footage being used in a War Crimes trial?
Observing is important. It is what reporters do…
Great blog, Jon, thanks for putting it up.
Interesting subtle reactions and thoughts. I wonder whether some of your dilemma ia because our society may still tacitly accepy a certain amount of male on female violence?
We see it in Dramas on tv, in a way that Fascist on German or Israeli on Palestinian fictitios violent incudents woyld be unacceptable.
I thinkk you were right to stay safe.
The only shame is that how bad things have got that in intervening there is probably a good chance you would have been stabbed. There is too much violence and anger in the world I’m afraid.
It sounds like a frightening situation, but it isn’t your fault. I would of had similar aprihensions.
*Call the Police….And then help out the victim.
P.S.: Take the necessary precautions….
=Dennis Junior=