Terrible Dancer Accepts Dancing Role In Paralympic Opening Ceremony

Good news! Of a sort, at least. You may remember way back in February I auditioned to become a performer in the Opening Ceremony of the London 2012 Paralympic Games.  Well, a mere eight weeks later, LOCOG have gotten back to me with the following email…

First things first, what the hell is a 99-GAVOTTE-B?!? An initial scout around on Google reveals that a Gavotte is “a lively peasants’ kissing dance that became fashionable at the 17th- and 18th-century courts of France and England.” Further investigation on YouTube revealed the following clip:

Given my scraggly beard and propensity for ripped jeans, perhaps I shouldn’t be surprised that I’ve been selected for a peasant oriented role. Quite what it is I did in my audition that suggested I’d be good at the kissing part of it however, remains unclear.

Looking further down the email it says the role demands “strong wheelchair movement skills.” Perhaps it’s this that got me the gig?

Either way, I’m terrified. Absolutely terrified.  And I’ve already sent back my acceptance form.

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