J’accuse the occasional smoker

So David Cameron may still sneak the odd cigarette. Asked about No Smoking Day in PMQs the PM merely said he hopes to meet its requirements in full this year. Is this an admission that he is an occasional smoker? I hope not.They are perhaps the worst kind.

Yes I am aware how irritating the smugness of the ex-smoker is. I gave up a twenty a day habit after about twenty years in 2005. But crafty, occasional smoking always seemed to me the weakest of states, neither one thing nor the other.

Occasional smokers usually claim the odd fag relaxes them when they are wound up. This is nonsense – because nicotine is a stimulant.

They also claim they are not addicted and could go without ever smoking again if they wanted to. This is also usually untrue because they describe that “Oh I could do with a fag” or “I need a cigarette” feeling all too often. It is just that the addiction cravings they feel are low level, and drawn out over a long time. In other words they are operating below par for most of their existence, feel good for the moment they take that first hit of the smoke, and then spend the rest of the cigarette pointlessly inviting cancer and emphysema.

This means occasional smokers are also the most stupid – as they are only weakly addicted they could relatively easily give up. David Cameron probably likes the fact that his addiction was something he had in common with Barack Obama – the coolest kid in World Leader Club. But occasional smokers are not cool. They are not clever. I do hope Dave isn’t part of this club.