It’s time to deck the halls and trim the tree but as the credit continues to crunch, no-one wants to fork out for festive decorations. 4Food got creative and rustled up a homemade nativity… out of cheese.
A savoury stable
Every good nativity story starts with the stable; something sturdy and warm to keep out the winter chill. My two wise men and I toyed with various building materials to house my holy family but finally decided on the Twiglet. Lumber-like in appearance and texture the salty snack lends itself perfectly to crib construction. And which Saviour wouldn’t be thrilled to enter the world amid the aroma of yeast?
To fill any unsightly cracks I rustled up some edible grout – just like the Bethlehem builders of old – from the flour and water and mixed it with crushed up Twiglets. Then after, popping on a couple of gable ends the stable was ready and fit for a king, or three.
Cheesy characters
Casting the characters was the next port of call and just like the real world, the cheese realm offered a host of possibilities of various talents and depths.
The shepherds and sheep – Goat’s cheese was pretty much a given here as anything made from cow’s milk would be an insult to the trade. The crumbly consistency of Feta also helped conjure up the rough and ready appearance of men in the field. Who’d have thought?
The three kings - I wanted something regal and imposing for the three kings’ capes so the ruby red of Edam rind was an easy choice. A saunter round the supermarket counter threw up a green-rinded goat’s cheese and a flamboyant Mexican morsel that were more than up to the job.
The holey angel Gabriel – I needed something light enough to ‘fly’ but with a holy aura daunting enough to worry a shepherd. A Leerdammer slice fit the bill perfectly – a fact for their marketing team perhaps?
The holy family - The hardest roles of all. For Joseph I wanted something solid and dependable, perhaps with an oak-smoked hue? In the end I opted for Pilgrim’s Choice Extra Mature Cheddar – well, he’d need to be.
Mary was made from blue cheese; an obvious choice for such a highly flavoured lady, and the babe himself was played by a Babybel – the purple-rinded variety for extra regal depth.
A pungent performance
With the cast assembled the performance began and the dairy thespians did themselves proud. Sure, Mary’s head melted and a bit of loose Twiglet timber killed off a couple of Feta sheep but every Christmas play needs a little drama.
As the curtain fell there wasn’t a dry eye in the 4Food team, a fact only partly explained by the pungent lactose fumes. Who needs expensive decorations to ring in the birth of Christ? Beat the credit crunch this Christmas and celebrate with cheese.
Check out the full journey of Mary, Joseph and baby cheese-us
Comments
This is the best thing I have ever seen in my life. I thought it was going to be cheesy but it isn’t.
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