From Cinderella to King and King – the rise of alternative fairytales
Cinderella, The Princess and the Pea, Sleeping Beauty…You won’t find traditional fairytales like these at a special event being held later today at London’s Southbank Centre. Alternative Families, Alternative Fairytales – part of the Imagine Children’s Festival – is the first major public event dedicated to the 19,000 children now living with same-sex parents in the UK – and addressing the lack of literature reflecting their experience.
Of course, to grow up and not remotely recognise yourself in any of the characters you encounter in books, films, theatre or television can have a hugely detrimental effect on a child’s psychological development. It can make that child feel invisible, weird, like they aren’t fully welcome or included in society or that their life — or family — is something to be covered up or even ashamed of. All of which can cause devastating damage to a child’s sense of self-worth.
And this isn’t just the case with children of same-sex parents but also children of single parents and step-parents, or disabled or minority ethnic children for example — basically anyone in any way different from the norm. But thankfully children’s fiction seems to have most of these areas covered now.
And very recently I’ve been heartened to see that it’s even starting to explore the lives of children with gay parents. And Tango Makes Three by Justin Richardson, Peter Parnell and Henry Cole tells the true story of two male penguins in New York Zoo who fall in love and are given an egg to incubate as their own, which then turns into a chick, Tango. King and King by Linda De Haan and Stern Nijland is about a queen’s attempts to find a suitable bride for her son, the prince; only when he falls in love with a perfect groom, the whole kingdom celebrates.
And Picnic in the Park by Joe Griffiths and Tony Pilgrim revolves around a little boy’s birthday, which brings together guests from all sorts of different family units — including single parent families, adoptive and foster families and gay and lesbian families.
Together books like these show that it’s fine to be different. They send out a positive message to children of same sex parents, making them feel validated and showing them that their lives are just as important as those of children with both a mum and a dad.
But of course this kind of subject matter in children’s literature has always been controversial. In 1983 a copy of the English translation of Jenny Lives with Eric and Martin by Danish author Susanne Bosche, was found in a school library.
The resulting controversy was a major factor in the passing of Section 28, which forbade the ‘promotion’ of homosexuality as an acceptable family relationship by any school or local government employee.
Of course the architects of Section 28 failed to recognise two fundamental points. First of all, that homosexuality can’t be taught, ‘promoted’ or even chosen; I grew up in an entirely straight world but that had no success turning me straight so I can’t see what chance there’d be that a straight child reading a book about a little girl with two dads would suddenly realise he or she wanted to be gay.
Of course if a child already knows that they’re gay, which most of us do from an early age, then a book like this can be reassuring and let them know that they aren’t alone and they aren’t a freak. Which brings me onto the second point forgotten by Margaret Thatcher’s government; in its haste to protect straight children from the ‘promotion’ of homosexuality, it failed to recognise its duty to protect gay children too. And let’s not beat about the bush, gay children are far more vulnerable than straight children. Believe me, I’ve been there.
But all that’s old news now. Since Section 28 was repealed in 2003 David Cameron has formally apologised on behalf of his party for introducing the law and has called it a ‘mistake’. And over the last ten years attitudes towards same sex parenting have changed – perhaps as a result of high profile gay parents such as Elton John and David Furnish as well as TV shows such as Threesome and The New Normal.
So I strongly believe that these new picture books should be universally welcomed. And I can’t wait to see what children of same sex families make of them at the Southbank Centre later today. But if they’re to fulfill their potential as tools of social change, and themselves help transform attitudes towards same sex families, then it’s important that they’re read by children with straight parents too.
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There are 7 comments on this post
I am a child from a single parent family and while I did not have single parent fairy tales/books growing up that would not have helped me accept my situation as the norm.
The truth is a person’s situation needs to be accepted for what it is and that fact is a single parent family is not the norm and in my view should never be the ideal or forced upon people as the “new normal”. That would be asking people to accept a lie.
Not every person has the norm. Whether it be a single parent family or a gay family. People need to accept there situation for what it is and stop trying to create false norms which only has a more adverse affect on individuals and society in the long run.
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What utter nonsense. We have to teach our children from the day they start school about diversity. As a child growing up in Apartheid South Africa and being taught that black Africans were a sub species most of my peers believed this bigotry. My nephews have been brought up in integrated schools and have no such delusions. Bigotry is entrenched in their parents but not in them. Teach our children now not to hate.
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There is no normal
I did not see myself in the books about Kings and queens witches and wizards spot the dog or even in my favourite Dr Seuss books
My friends thought I was lucky to have both parents my mum was severely disabled and had a hard time accepting her declining health by taking it out on us with weird rules and extreme demands
My dad was a long distance lorry driver away from home most of the week and then when home he was to be left alone because he was tired
Then he became ill too so I had a pair of wheelchair bound demanding people who don’t want help and punish me if I get things wrong and no income and its gcse time!
I was jellous of foster people single parent people everyone noone took my asking for help seriously because my mum was such a good pretender everything was as she saw it in her head
It wasn’t till I got very ill that anyone looked into my life and I was assigned help too late dad had died
Books don’t need to show real life they need to be fun a diversion a teaching tool they don’t need to be so PC they become silly boring and relevant to noone I mean did any of us read snow white sleeping beauty Alice etc……. and think OMG thats just like my family
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I anticipate some idiots saying it will “turn kids gay” or something, but all of these straight couples in fairytales, in the street, in my family, on TV, in films etc never turned me straight. lol. There’s nothing wrong with saying “Hey, your family is fine too. Families comes in different shapes and sizes. Here’s something you may relate to more easily.” Nobody’s saying “This is the only way to be”.
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Why shouldn’t there be books about everyone in the world, we’re all human beings regardless of what we are
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Amie, I understand your view here, I really do. However, i think it basically comes down to our understanding of what “the norm” is. I really don’t think “normal” is a useful word for the most part. “Usual” or “common” are perhaps better choices. I don’t like the idea of heterosexuality being the norm, or the traditional nuclear family being the norm but i’m perfectly happy to accept that it might be more “usual” or more “common.” I’m left handed and being left handed is normal and natural for me, and yet i would agree that it’s far less common or usual. Single parent and same sex families are no less “normal” than any other traditional family but we have to accept that yes, they are less common and less usual. It’s important for children to know that whilst their families might be more unusual or less common than other childrens’ families, that’s it’s just as valid and that there are others like them.
I want my boy to know that there are other little boys and girls like him, who have two mums and two dads (that’s our set up
. I’m going to tell him that not all boys and girls have two mums and two dads like he does, that it’s far less common and usual – but that it’s entirely “normal” and acceptable.
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I totally agree with George C’s comment in the video – I’m in a straight marriage and I took my daughter to this event, and I read books to her about alternative families set-ups as i thinks it can only be good for her to appreciate diversity from an early age, and as he says, she has zero prejudices at this age and it totally open and accepting, which is great and should be encouraged. To Stephen’s point above, even it was likely to ‘turn kids gay’ (which we all know is not the case) I wouldn’t worry about it or see that as undesirable at all. Ideally it’ll make her more comfortable with whoever she turns out to be and more likely to be open-minded and just generally happy
.
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