10 Sep 2015

When does a compliment about a woman become sexism?

The barrister Charlotte Proudman has divided opinion up and down the country — and indeed in our own newsroom — after she called out a senior solicitor who complimented her on her “stunning picture” on the networking site, LinkedIn.

To some, she’s provided a welcome insight into the kind of low-level sexism that women in the legal profession have to endure on a daily basis. To others, she’s a “Feminazi” who can’t accept an innocent tribute to her good looks.

I wasn’t going to say a word about the whole episode, I honestly wasn’t. Why? Because most people who read my blogs and tweets probably know by now where I stand on sexism.

But when I realised how much abuse Ms Proudman was getting on Twitter, I tweeted about it myself, calling attention to the vitriol which had been heaped on her.

The response was as irritating as it was predictable.

One suggested: “Women like @cathynewman trade on their looks, she would not be employed if she looked like a warthog.” There were a few like that, along with the one which asked if I had hairy armpits, and another claiming I was “a member of the left wing sisterhood that sees sexism where it doesn’t exists [sic].”

So now that I’ve wandered into this row, was Ms Proudman being over-sensitive or not?

Alexander Carter-Silk’s original LinkedIn message was clearly flirtatious. Here’s what he wrote: “Charlotte, delighted to connect. I appreciate that this is politically incorrect but that is a stunning picture! You definitely win the prize for the best Linked in [sic] picture I have ever seen. Always interest to understand [sic] people’s skills and how we might work together.”

Context is all here. LinkedIn is a rather staid professional network, not some kind of dating site. And as such, Ms Proudman was expecting to be taken seriously and professionally. Mr Carter-Silk was instead privileging her looks over her legal skills, in just the same way as my twitter trolls assume that qualifications and two decades of hard graft have little to do with my career.

10_charlotteproudman_w

This isn’t about an inability to take compliments: it’s about women being valued in a professional setting for their brains and skills, just as men are.

There’s also the matter of their respective ages. Mr Carter-Silk’s eldest daughter is the same age as Ms Proudman. That alters the power dynamic of the exchange in Mr Carter-Silk’s favour. And when it comes to sexual politics, it’s all about who has the power.

But what of Ms Proudman’s response? It was nothing if not robust. Posting the entire exchange on Twitter, she wrote: “I am on LinkedIn for business purposes not to be approached about my physical appearance or to be objectified by sexist men. The eroticisation of women’s physical appearance is a way of exercising power over women.” And she didn’t stop there, accusing him of “unacceptable and misogynistic behaviour”.

I suspect now she’s rather regretting being quite so forthright. Did Mr Carter-Silk deserve a short, private reprimand? Yes. Did his behaviour warrant the public onslaught he’s now been subjected to? No.

Mr Carter-Silk has subsequently explained: “My comment was aimed at the professional quality of the presentation on LinkedIn which was unfortunately misinterpreted.” Oh come on, pull the other one…

So fundamentally, whatever the rights and wrongs of going to war on Twitter over this, I sympathise with Ms Proudman. Because sexism against women in Britain in various forms is still, remarkably, so prevalent, particularly in a profession like the law, that it needs to be called out.

And if that makes me a feminazi, guilty as charged.

Follow @cathynewman on Twitter

Tweets by @cathynewman