Alex Thomson's View

Our chief correspondent roams across the news agenda bringing both light and shade to his topical reports.

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July 17, 2014 9 Comments

Hot weather warning: more like a load of hot air

Oh to be in England now that a few hours of the kind of weather the south-east has every year is about to happen. Because of this entirely predictable and normal event, it is good to see we have what we need: emergency advice and plenty of it.

The key thing is to avoid standing in the sun for hours wearing chain mail.

Oh and remember to drink water which is a drink and can be drunk using your mouth. Please also remember that it is important to swallow the water for the full benefit.

Those using public transport are advised to breathe – particularly during the peak hours of travel. Failure to breathe – particularly in hot and crowded places – can quickly lead to light-headedness and Seasonally Affected Suddenly Falling Over Syndrome.

For those caught out by the lethally fatal killer temperatures in cars, both passengers and drivers should bear in mind that repeatedly smashing your head against the dashboard could cause head injuries including an injured head.

On the subject of cars, it is advisable to remove all pets from any vehicle if you intend throwing unleaded petrol over the interior upholstery and setting it on fire.

Research by leading animal welfare charities shows this can be highly dangerous and cause injury to most leading breeds of dog.

Lastly, those not living in the overheated, self-absorbed south-east are advised to patronise each other with any pointless guff to hand, using new and old media, in order to feel a part of what is going on.

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July 15, 2014 2 Comments

Don’t bet the farm on peace in Afghanistan

This is precisely the kind of act guaranteed to wipe the gloss of the weekend euphoria as US Secretary of State John Kerry flew in to Kabul to broker a deal between arch-rivals.

July 11, 2014 1 Comment

In Afghanistan, the insurgents are resurgent

A 24 per cent spike in civilian casualties in Afghanistan in the first half of 2014 suggests the Taliban and other insurgent groups are on the march again.

July 10, 2014 32 Comments

Rangers, tax and ‘no surrender’?

You can’t really complain about a shadow over Rangers and the effect on the club’s value when the club itself has broken the rules.

July 8, 2014 1 Comment

Does civil war loom after Afghanistan elections?

We were supposed to leave Afghanistan with some kind of credible military forces to stop all this from happening. That does not look very credible.

As a democratic spectacle, nothing comes close to the Tour

Going to the Tour de France as a spectator is all about everything Big Sport left behind when it decided to become Big Business.

July 3, 2014 3 Comments

Alastair Campbell: Egypt hasn’t paid me a penny

Tony Blair’s former spin doctor denies taking money from the Sisi regime, but insists the west must engage with Egypt.

July 2, 2014 8 Comments

The Blair-Sisi Project

Tony Blair’s people insist he will earn no money from his advising of “President” Sisi of Egypt, who seized power in the recent coup and sealed it in a phony election.

June 25, 2014 11 Comments

It’s not just phones that have been hacked, it’s British power

It has been called the Trial of the Century and cost millions of pounds. But the phone hacking trial also raises serious questions about our political system.

May 23, 2014 7 Comments

Four things to note about this Ukip-dominated election

The main parties have been running scared of what Ukip has to say. Hopefully, these election results will encourage a new atmosphere of real debate.

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