What Would It Be Like To Win Lunch With Kevin McCloud?

You can’t have missed that we’ve got a competition running to win lunch with Kevin McCloud. The very thought of it created a flurry of excited emails between us in the 4Homes office. What would it be like to sit down before the great man and try and hack your way through a pork sausage (for example) while discussing the merits of using hemp in a self build?

It even kept me awake last night. Emma from the 4Homes office wondered if Kevin would describe what he wanted from the menu by using his knife, fork and napkin to build a representation of the dish to the waiter. I’m more haunted by the thought that, were I to win, I’d order my food, and Kevin would then turn to an imaginary camera and say, ‘Of course, it’s all very well Lucy ordering beef, but it’s just not very eco-friendly, is it? And, more to the point, she’s never ordered a la carte before. If you ask me, this could all go horribly wrong.’

My musings went further, of course, as they do in the middle of the night. I imagined Kevin diving for my dish with his own cutlery, so that he could see what it was like to have a go at cutting through my sirloin. ‘It’s a very satisfying process, isn’t it?’ he’d ask me as he sawed through the meat. ‘And this meat is a real beast.’ Kevin would then ask me what I thought about the merits of geo-thermal heating, while all I would manage to answer, in the presence of his greatness, would be an idiotic, ‘I don’t know but I do think MDF’s cool.’

Finally, of course, we’d have the conclusion, delivered wisely by Mr McCloud in the foreground, with me in the background, picking my teeth at the table. I’d like to think I’d have pulled the lunch off, snatched victory from the jaws of defeat, come in on budget and on time, without planning problems or arguments with neighbouring tables. It’s much more likely that, in the presence of Kevin, I’d only have managed a liquid lunch, and it would all have gone, as Kevin would say, ‘horribly, horribly wrong’. Thank God I’m not allowed to enter the competition. But you can.

How would it go for you? Let us know…

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